


Lather, Rinse, Maim

by bangyababy



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Bucky Barnes's Hair, Bucky is a demanding little shit, Coming In Pants, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Over the pants blowjob, Reunion Sex, Steve is just trying to get some dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 16:07:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16099091
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bangyababy/pseuds/bangyababy
Summary: Bucky's been away for a while now and Steve can't wait to get his hands on him. Too bad all they have is 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner.





	Lather, Rinse, Maim

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first Stucky fic and so, of course, it's crack. The idea for this came from the segment of Vital Information with Lori Beth Denberg and I've had this idea floating around for like at least six months if not longer.

The door had barely closed behind Bucky when he heard Steve’s footsteps rushing towards him.

“Buck, that you?”

“Who else would it be?” Bucky called back, setting his mission bag down in the hallway.

Steve was there by the time he looked up. He had just enough time to open his arms to allow space for the body that was launched at him at inhuman speed. Bucky gathered Steve in his arms, laughing around kisses. 

“Miss me?” Bucky asked when they finally separated.

“Nah, that’s all I needed. You can go.” Steve grinned, pushing Bucky lightly.

“Punk.” Bucky leaned in and nipped at Steve’s bottom lip. “Here I am, all keyed up to see my guy and he’s tryin’ to push me out the door. You gotta man in here with you or something, Steve?”

“A man has needs, Buck,” Steve told him with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

“You really know how to make a guy feel special, don’tcha Rogers?” Bucky began to pull away but Steve held him in place, crowding him back into the door.

“How about I make you feel real special then?” He purred.

“I’d like to see you try.” 

Steve gave him a predatory leer and fell to his knees, his eyes never leaving Bucky’s. His hands came up to un-do Bucky’s belt, but hands stopped him. “Not sure you wanna get in there just yet, doll. I ain’t showered in at least 72 hours.”

Steve leaned back on his heels and gave an unimpressed snort. “Then how were you planning on me to try, Buck?”

“What? You don’t think you can get me off with a little over the pants action?” Bucky shook his head in mock disappointment. “You’re getting rusty.”

“I’ll show you rusty,” Steve growled, before reaching down and cupping Bucky’s hardening dick. Bucky groaned as Steve began to palm him over his pants, encouraging him to full hardness. “Look at that,” Steve commented with an easy grin. “I’ve barely even touched you.”

“Shut up,” Bucky gritted out. “It’s not like I’ve had time to jerk myself gettin’ chased all over goddamn British Columbia.”

“Poor baby,” Steve said, leaning in and biting teasingly at Bucky’s thigh. “Want me to kiss it and make it all better?”

Bucky grinned down at him. “That’s what I’ve been gettin’ at you damn punk.” 

“Bossy.” Steve bit him again, before turning his head to the side and nuzzling the bulge in Bucky’s pants. “I like it.” He opened his mouth and took in the head of Bucky’s dick through his pants.

“Christ!” Bucky’s hand flew to Steve’s head. His fingers threaded through the short hair encouraging him to take more in. “Christ, your mouth sweetheart, not even touching me and it’s still the best damn thing I’ve ever felt. Should be goddamn illegal to be that good with your mouth. I swear, drive me fucking crazy.”

Spurred on by the little grunts Bucky was making, Steve concentrated on sucking in as much of Bucky’s dick as he could, all the while kneading his balls. He mouthed at the head, enjoying the rough feel of the fabric in his mouth much more than he thought he would. It wasn’t long before Bucky’s hands were tightening in his hair and he was coming.

Steve pulled away and looked up with a satisfied smirk. “Guess I still got it.”

Bucky reached down cupped Steve’s cheek. “I guess you do.” He leaned down and gave him a sweet kiss on the lips before pulling him to his feet. “But now I really need that shower.”

Steve looked down at the wet spot on Bucky’s pants and laughed. “Go get cleaned up and then I’ll really make you feel special.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Bucky answered, heading for the bedroom.

Steve had just finished getting himself ready when he heard the shout.

“Steve!”

Steve jolted off the bed and sprinted into the bathroom, only to collide with a very wet and very angry Bucky.

“What the fuck!” Steve shouted, trying and failing to pull himself out from underneath Bucky. “Bucky! I thought you were being attacked.”

“I  _ am _ ,” Bucky hissed.

“What?”

“What the fuck is this shit?” Bucky demanded, shoving a slippery bottle into Steve’s face.

Steve looked at the bottle and back to Bucky’s livid face and blinked. “Hair stuff?”

“Guess a-fucking-gain, Rogers.”

Steve looked back at the bottle and read, “2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner.”

“2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner,” Bucky repeated, voice dangerously complacent.

“Buck?”

“2-in-1 Shampoo and fucking Conditioner! The future is unbelievable isn’t, Steve?”

Steve looked at the door and back to the bottle and wondered how mad Bucky would be if he used the bottle as a weapon to escape. “Yeah?”

“Do you have any idea what it takes to keep my hair looking like I just stepped outta a L’Oreal commercial?”

“Not 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner?” Steve hedged.

Bucky sat back, looking deceitfully pleased. “That’s right Stevie, not 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner.”

“Baby-” Steve began, but Bucky leaned back down so fast Steve smacked his head on the floor trying to pull back.

“Don’t fucking baby me, you goddamn grifter,” Bucky growled. “I swear to God, Rogers, if you’re not back here in the next ten minutes with two  _ separate  _ bottles of shampoo and conditioner I’m gonna kick your ass so bad it’ll make what Henry McDougall did to ya look like a warm-up.”

“Are you serious?”

“Try me, Steve.” 

Steve stared at Bucky for one long moment and found no traces of humor. At the realization that Bucky was not going to back down, Steve’s eyes widened and he  whispered, “Buck, I’m all open.” 

Finally Bucky stood up and gave Steve a hard look. “Then you better run fast.”

Steve was out of the door before Bucky even made it back into the shower.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!  
> I'm on [tumblr](http://bangyababy.tumblr.com/).


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